I want to believe that he is okay and that this arrangement will work, but its hard. We took him in like family. As with each of us, living here, there are rules. Rules which we each need to abide by. We might not agree with them, but out of respect, we follow them. He doesn't pay rent, we feed him and give him a place to stay. We don't ask him to do chores, or have these crazy expectations. For some reason, its not sticking with him. Maybe its a cultural difference. Maybe its that whole obligation thing that is pounded in each of us growing up...or is that just me?
I hate being the oldest. I hate being a worrier. I hate that I get so involved, so "in it". I hate that I soak up the feelings and environment around me too much. I hate the weird dreams and the hyper sensitivity. Shutting down sounds really good right now, but that's not an option. I need to learn how to be there with out being in the middle of it. Someone tell me how to do that!
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