Thursday, October 25, 2007

Catching some Zzzzz

I haven't slept like a normal person in weeks. Too much on my mind. Too many worries. Too many weird dreams. That's how it's been. I'd lay there for a few hours and then when I finally fall asleep, it would be filled with crazy dreams. I wake up feeling like I didn't sleep. I just want to be able to shut my brain off for a few hours and really sleep. After work I took the happiest nap ever. It was great, until the nightmares started up again.

This time I was alone in a tiny room in complete darkness. The walls and the floors were covered with thorns or pins. I couldn't sit down, I couldn't lean on the walls. I had to stand and I had been standing there for days. I was trapped and confined. I kept hearing scary noises, like crying and screaming. I started crying in my dream. My mom woke me up before I started crying in reality.

I know what this one means. The worries, its me, its all me. It's because it's so strong, this feeling I'm having. It's so palpable and heavy. It's everywhere, I live it, and I can't fix it.

I'm being dramatic again. This can only mean one of two things...or possibly both...

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