You don't know what you got till its gone

It's a shame that things, people, or even circumstances do not always get the attention they need or deserve until its gone. Everyone is guilty of it, and everyone has been a neglecter or a neglected at some point of their lives. I not just talking about big things, like people and friends who move in and out of your life, ex-boyfriends, or my old kick-boxing body. There are even those moments of regret where you know you should have done or said something but never did...Like my high school crush. Or those moments at USC, when I couldn't wait for school to be over. Why? Why did I want it to be over?

Now that I am working, I want to go back to those days at USC. I want to go back to those days when I would sleep until 11 so that I Love Lucy and Port Charles would be the first things I watch before starting my day...I can take a couple of hours to get ready, and wear flip flops all day. Instead I wake up at 6 (okay, lie its more like 7) and the first thing I watch is Good Day LA for the weather (and you know Jillian isn't always right) and I wear these ugly mary jane shoes everyday because I really don't care what goes on my feet these days. I want to go back to when my only financial worry was if I had enough money in my discretionary account, and I have the comfort in knowing that I will not have to worry about paying back my loans until after graduation. Now-a-days, I have to shell out a hunk of my paycheck to pay for my edu-muh-cation and I have to keep paying every month until 2023...I WILL BE 43! I like knowing that from mid-May to mid-August, and all the major holidays I have a set vacation. Now I have earn my vacation time and ask my boss-lady for time off and schedule them around my project deadlines, and other people's availability.

Perception is a big thing to. Sometimes ignorance is bliss, but most of the time it's just stupid. You can live your life feeling like everything is okay and then one day someone says or does something that changes how you see people, and how people see you, and your perception changes...Most of the time its for the better. Actually, its always for the better, even when it hurts like crazy its still better than being ignorant.

Its all part of growing up, learning, and letting go...I guess.