Let it burn.

I went to my first bonfire of the year last night. It was fun! It reminded me of high school when we used to go to the beach practically every weekend. It was freakin cold tho. Even colder since it was me and three other couples...but that's okay, I'm not bitter. hehe.


Next to us were some crazy people who stacked a bunch of crates and file boxes full of paper in one of the pits and doused it with lighter fluid. Oh dang was that a big fire.


I watched the fire pits thinking how nice it would be if I could dump this feeling in the fire and let it burn away to ashes. It would make things so easy. I feel as though I am constantly struggling and it finally hit its breaking point last week. I wish I knew what to do, what to say, how to act. There is so much I want to say, but can't. The reason why I never did was because I didn't want to get hurt. Well. As it turns out, I hurt either way. By not saying anything, I am hurting myself. If I do say something, I am putting myself out there and taking my guard down. That scares the shit out of me!