I cracked today. BADLY. It's been one of those bad spells. It started last week. Work has been piled up on me. I've been feeling like I'm drowning. I told my boss-lady so. She looks at me and says, "Just DO it." Wow. What a novel idea. Just do it. Why didn't I think of that before?!
I'm burned out and over worked. On top of that, the house is freaking me out. We had to sign a bunch of papers over our lunch break. So much crap. Our house is classified as a "condominium - detached". HELLO. I thought a condo was ATTACHED. Our house is completely detached. It looks like a freakin' single family residence! Then I had to take a loan out from my 401k. I will be working at with my company for another 10 years or until I completely pay it off. Yay me.
My bosses are getting a house. I hear/see them taking care of all the stuff during work hours. Why I didn't take more time off to deal with the house stuff, I don't know. I just hope that they let me take time off to take care of my house like they are taking care of their house.
Then the email came in. The one that we were all kind of expecting, and yet were surprised by. Yep. Someone has stepped down and his office has been cleaned out. He just disappeared right before our eyes. I'd rather the other one go, but hey, it helps that we don't have to see the smirks and the glances anymore.
At home it's all about the wedding. Actually, its all about the wedding invitations. I'm still printing! Actually. I am not printing right now. Right now I'm waiting on more envelopes and stamps. My printer hates me. It eats every 4th envelope. We have lost 34 envelopes so far. Those things aren't cheap.
All this stuff...it's starting to affect me physically. I haven't slept (what's new) and I haven't been able to relax or even take a breath. My shoulders feel heavy and are in a constant state of ouch. I pulled a muscle in my neck when I was getting ready for work. I couldn't turn my head most of the morning. I'd have to turn my entire upper body to look to the left. It was a bitch to drive.
I think I might have fucked something up today. Like really fucked it up. I said something that I shouldn't have said, and in a way I shouldn't have said it. I want to take it back but I can't.
fuck fuck fuck...stupid dumb fuck!
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