Wednesday, September 12, 2007

My Life, My Rules.

Updated 10/01/07

Okay. So I tend to have an obsessive nature. When I like someone, I think about them, ALWAYS. If only I can be as diligent about going to the gym, washing my car, cleaning out my email box, or eating vegetables as I am obsessing over some boy. I get it, you're over it. We are all over it, I should be over it and I say I'm over it, but clearly, by the way I talk I am not over it.

Having said that I am slowly compiling a set of rules to keep me in check when it comes to boys. Its mostly to weed out the bad ones to make room for the good ones. Hopefully in the process, I can keep myself from constantly talking about the bad weeds...

My Musts
Yes, I have a list of "Musts". I can hear the boys groaning now. No, there is nothing about appearance or financial stability (although it would be nice if you were taller and older than me and have your shit together when it comes to money). My "Musts" is not a very long list, but in order for us to be an us, you must:
a) Must Be Christian - I was in a relationship with a guy who was Catholic when I was undergoing some spiritual changes. He was not supportive, in fact he was the exact opposite and it hurt. I refuse to deal with that again.

b) Must Want to Get Married - I'm not saying let's get hitched now, but I do want to get married someday. It would be a shame to invest so much of myself into a relationship with someone who has no intention of ever getting married and I don't believe in trying to change someone into marriage.
c) Must Want Children - Again, I don't want to have babies now, but I will one day. This is for the same reason as above.
d) Must NOT be Taken - If you are married, have a girlfriend, or are currently in love with someone else, then walk on by. I will not share you romantically with anyone else. I deserve all of you, just like you deserve all of me.
See that wasn't so bad. If you are all four of those then feel free to move on to the next rule and practice it regularly on me! =)

If you don't have the balls to ask me out, then you're not man enough to date me.
Call me old-fashioned, call me sexist, call me anti-feminist, call me a cab. I don't care. What kind of guy wants the kind of girl who asks them out anyways? Its a little too forward and a little too ballsy for a girl to do so. I'm all about girl power, but when it comes to dating, boys are the pursuers and girls are the persuees. That's the way it's always been, that's the way it's supposed to be. It says so in the bible somewhere.

My face is up here!
Okay so I may have a little extra boobage, big deal. It does not matter how long you stare at them or how much you talk to them, they will NOT talk back. Wanna earn brownie points? Eyes up here Mister. Oh and while we are on the subject of boobage, do not look at other girls' boobage while we're talking. Hello. While it shows great flexibility to be able to turn your head completely around 360 degrees, it's sooo not attractive, not to mention very rude.

Save the games for the court.
I can outline my dating pattern as follows: date for 5 minutes, in a long term relationship for about a year, break up, not date for a year, date for 5 minutes, in a long term relationship for about 6 years, break up, not date for a couple of years, date here, not date, date there, not date... I don't have game, I don't know the rules of the game, I don't want to play the game. Don't fish for an invite, don't manipulate me into asking you out, don't send me mixed messages. If you like me, ask me out. If you don't, stop messing with me.

"I'm Busy"
If you're too busy to make time to get to know me, you're too busy to be in a relationship with. If you really liked me, you would make time for me, just like I would make time for you. I understand that some people are busy, hell I get busy. That's fine, just know that with me, if we keep trying to make plans and you keep saying "I'm busy"..at some point I will hear "not interested" and walk away.

I am not your emotional booty call!
With technology these days, its very easy to be too connected. I am one of those who is one call, text message, email, or IM away. This does NOT mean that I am in any way, shape, or form a booty call, physical or emotional. The emotional ones are tricky, because they come in the guise of friendship, but when you ONLY contact me when you are drunk, lonely, or when there is no one else, I notice. Believe you me I NOTICE. So don't use me like that, you lose a friend and a potential girlfriend that way.

I ain't no holla back girl!
Please work on your approach. Surefire way to get a fake name and number from me is to use a bad line to get my attention. Anything that starts with "hey baby", involves boob ogling, or ends with "sit on my face" are not good ways to approach a girl. A simple, "Hi" works. Not sure if the line you use is appropriate? If you have a sister or best gal pal, how would you want a guy to approach her? Exactly.

Flakes Need Not Apply
1) Be true to your word - If you say you are going to do something, do it. Even with the small stuff.
2) Don't flake out or "forget" - Forgetting is just another excuse. If I was that important to you, you wouldn't forget about me.
The lies and excuses add up. Once or twice on a rare occasion, but if this becomes a habit, then I'm out. It's all about respect.

Are we on a date?
As far as I'm concerned, there is dating and there is hanging out. If two people of the opposite sex are together and the following characteristics are present, THEN IT IS NOT A DATE:
1) It involves an errand of some sort - I'm sorry, picking up dry cleaning or going to Target together does not qualify as a date, you're hanging out.
2) Other people are with you - Unless it's another couple and you're on a double date, if other people are with you, then a bunch of you are hanging out. With enough of you, then its a party.
3) You're unsure if its a date, chances are it isn't - You're hanging out.
4) You are doing the same thing with this person as you would your best friend of the same sex and nothing more - You're hanging out with your best friend of the opposite sex.
5) You arrive there (wherever "there" is) and you split up to do your own thing - You carpooled with you friend and you aren't even hanging out. What's wrong with you?

Same Goes for YOU
There is a difference between not doing something because you can't and not doing something because you won't. I understand the can'ts, we all have can'ts, its the won'ts that REALLY tick me off. Don't ask of me what you are unwilling to do yourself.

Okay that's all for now, I'm sure things will come to me as time goes on so check back on the list often. hehehehe.

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