My Catalysts

Updated 10/01/07

This was the year of change, but the past few months I've fallen, yet again. Sometime in the spring I stopped going to church, by summer I stopped going to the gym, and since the end of the dreaded "busy season" I've stopped caring about work. All three things were very important parts of my overall growth and health and I just stopped. Why? I believe it is because I lost focus. I got caught up in doing it for me, or for a boy, or for some social event, instead of focusing on HIM!

So then here comes the retreat. The retreat I had known for months that I was going to, the retreat I was soooo not prepared for. The Foundry kids are amazing. They are so filled with the spirit of the Lord in all they do and it's intimidating. Half the people there are in seminary or are heavily involved in various ministries. They can spout out bible verses from memory like I can spout out the lyrics to a Britney Spears song. So here they are with their well worn, well read bibles, and then there is me, 2 years after being baptized, still a baby in my spiritual growth holding my bible that is so under-read that it still creeks when you open it. HELLO! Major kick in my Spiritual Butt!

During the retreat we discussed what it means to love your brothers and sisters in Christ. We cultivated a list of various things that included that one must do to express that love, and they include: listening to them, caring for them, serving them, being giving and encouraging them in Christ, asking and giving forgiveness, and being humble. The one that really resonates in me is that I must be willing to confront them on their sins.

The speaker asked, "When was the last time you confronted someone about their sins?" It had been forever since I have. It's been forever since I've even thought about any sins, big or small. It's probably because I've been committing them myself, so for me to confront someone else about it would be like confronting myself. He then asked, "When was the last time someone confronted you about your sins?" Several people come to mind. They may not all have helped me as a brother or sister in Christ, but each of them have provided insight into some of my sinful and semi-self-destructive behavior in various aspects of my life. Their presence have brought about changes in me. Most likely they have no idea how much my life has been blessed by their friendship, but here I go.

MA - My "God Willing" Catalyst - We were destined to meet you and me, and when we finally did it was like we knew each other all our lives! You met me in the middle of my spiritual transition, when I was still wavering between Christianity and Catholicism. And while I still remain fairly quiet and shy about my faith, you're patience and understanding with me and the struggles I have in my walk is a continued blessing to me. You are my sister and a major source of encouragement. You challenge me in a way that doesn't freak me out or shut me down. I thank you for keeping me in prayer and inviting me to your church retreat every year. Please continue to keep me accountable! My "You're so random" Catalyst - You didn't know the random me, and you have no idea how happy I was when you said that to me. It means that I'm coming back and I haven't lost me.

VH - My "What the HELL?!" Catalyst - You make work fun, despite the you know who doing the you know whats you know when, you know? You make our bitchfests even better! You, my dear, are funny and kind and have taught me that its okay to laugh at yourself even when you trip and fall on your face or walk around with your fly open all day. We get each other's humor, because it is essentially the same! Is it weird? Probably, but who cares right? Thank you for the mini-escapes from work, even though we end up complaining (I mean talking) about work the whole time anyways. Also, thanks to GH for letting me borrow you every now and then to watch movies. =)

SLAK - My "I like you, do you like me too??" Catalyst - I've been in and out of "like" with you forever. You are the very first guy that I allowed myself to fall for after the break-up. You've really tried my patience and confused me to no end with your flirtatious nature and mixed messages. I'm walking away from the possibility. I'd much rather have you as a friend then nothing at all, and while "we" never came to be, at least I know I am capable of having those feelings for someone again.

JM - My "Not all guys are like him" Catalyst - You're right. Not all guys are like him and I must admit that when we first started talking, I had written you off as one of them. No, you are one of the good ones and it freaks the hell outta me how much I trust you. Even those times when I pick fights or push you away, you're still there and you understand that I do it because of past hurts. You're a good friend. Thank you for understanding, always making me laugh, and even for those times you made me cry. Big Girls Don't Cry, even though I know you do...even when you say you don't...you and your sad love songs and youtube videos.** Okay, okay.. You don't cry. You dissipate..which is how you stay silky and clever. hehehehehe. **

OPM - My "I'm the Goddess" Catalyst - I want to be like you when I grow up, 5'8", super skinny, and gorgeous with a husband and baby on the way. For now I'll settle for 5'4", super non-skinny, and busty with the dream of a husband and the hopes for a baby one day. =) You are one of two of my favorite Trojans and I love the many adventures we had at 'SC and the many more we will have together here in the Pink Bubble. Welcome to the neighborhood. It's going to be fabulous! Oh, have I mentioned that I want to live in Woodbury too because of you?! You bring out the goddess in us all with your grown up fabulousness and I thank you for that! **You're right, he is an "almost" and in fact, I'm changing the "A" and S.L.A.K. to "Sound Like an Almost Keeper"**

CDS - My "What did you do?!" Catalyst - You tell me like it is. Your honesty, insight, and the blank looks you give me where your eyebrows go to the sides of your head (aka the "....") are priceless. I love you for that! It keeps me on my toes. You've managed not to kill me, despite the multitude of times I've asked you to after saying or doing something stupid over some boy. My "Daydream believer" Catalyst - You're always there to listen/read as I ramble on and on about my latest obsession, whether it be a hobby, a house, or a boy. My fellow Trojan and now..umm..what is the mascot for IVC? I've been itching to do something since getting out of school (eww that was 5 years ago!) Thank you for taking this photography class with me and being a constant source of encouragement! Next up tap dancing???