Monday, July 16, 2007

Fighting to keep the past where it belongs...

I found myself crying uncontrollably yesterday. Not about the present or future, but about the past. July had been the worst month for me the past 3 years. Its the busiest month of the year at work. Its one of the hottest months of the year. Its the month that he broke my heart.

I'm doing much better than last year, and yet yesterday, I found myself crying uncontrollably. It was the ugly cry, you know, the kind where you can barely talk and every hole in your head is dripping something. It's stress, heat stroke, uncertainty, and fear. It's too much change in a short span of time. It's too much future in my face all at once. It's not even my future, but everyone else's.

I want that, I want my future.

So, I'm fighting desperately to keep the past where it belongs so that I can have it and so that I won't be left behind.

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