It's getting stronger, this feeling. I want it like everyone else, and yet something about me keeps f*cking it up. I'm tired, tired of being scared, tired of hurting, tired of the loneliness, tired of the confusion. I'm tired of giving up just enough of myself to fall, but have no one there to catch me.
It always ends up the same. Different guy, same results. It's me. I'm doing something, or not doing something, or not saying something, or saying it all wrong. I have a boy pattern that I just can't shake.
Maybe I'm not meant for that. Maybe I'm blessed with singleness. I had accepted that YEARS ago. Damn him for waking it up, stirring it around, and leaving me there to deal with it alone.
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