It's another year with the same work, in the same department, at the same company. I'm tired and burned out. My boss can see that, finally, it's only been two years. Ugh. I had a super stellar review...which was partly surprising and partly predictable. She made us do our own reviews this year because she is just so gosh darn busy. I gave myself all 5's. It was one tough ass year and I still stuck around to see it through. I deserved all 5's...she thought it was very gutsy of me to have done that and only changed one thing to a 3. It was the one about maintaining property or something. She seems to think that if you don't break anything, it merits a 3, but if you fix something then you can move up to a 5. Whatever. blah.
I got a nice size raise. I wonder what new toy I should get...maybe a house?
Friday, January 18, 2008
Saturday, January 12, 2008
Wednesday, January 09, 2008
Random Quote of the Day
BadPanda and NinaBoo were in the drive-thru and had just placed their order. BadPanda raises a fist and with his jaw clenched says, "She better have gotten our order right, or I'm going to head-butt her in the ovaries!" NinaBoo continues driving towards the window. Suddenly she breaks, the car comes to a hard stop, and she exclaims, "WHAT?!" Uncontrollable giggling occurs, but not from who you'd think. hehehehehehe
Sunday, January 06, 2008
boob and sleep, that's all a boy really needs
Today I travel a good 5 minutes to Woodbury to see lil Cid and his parents. I wanted to catch up with O and see how she was doing after squeezing out a 9 lb, 7 oz baby. Wow. Sid better give his mommy lots of hugs every Mother's Day for the rest of his life, he might have broke her.
So we talked about how she was doing, how I was doing, what's up with me and the boys in my life, and of course baby Cid. I held him while the parents and grand parents ate dinner together. He is so sweet...and even the top of his head smells sweet. We bonded over some TV watching. Then he got squirmy and was doing that searching for food face towards my boob. I told him it may look like a lot in there, but really..nothing is in there, just air...hahaha. no. Mommy O promptly took him from me and said it was time for the boob and sleep. The boob and sleep, that's all a boy really needs.
So we talked about how she was doing, how I was doing, what's up with me and the boys in my life, and of course baby Cid. I held him while the parents and grand parents ate dinner together. He is so sweet...and even the top of his head smells sweet. We bonded over some TV watching. Then he got squirmy and was doing that searching for food face towards my boob. I told him it may look like a lot in there, but really..nothing is in there, just air...hahaha. no. Mommy O promptly took him from me and said it was time for the boob and sleep. The boob and sleep, that's all a boy really needs.
Wednesday, January 02, 2008
I scurrred
Speaking in public terrifies me. Fear of falling from someplace high terrifies me. Disease terrifies me. Tube tops terrify me.
The two things that terrify me the most are 1) not being able to take care of the people I love, and 2) getting close to someone new. Now, those two things may seem to contradict each other in some ways. How do you care so much for someone new if you don't let them get close to you? I find that it's pretty easy. You care, you worry, you have those dreams about them, you may even have feelings, but you don't tell them. Not all of it, not all at once, or maybe not at all. It's easier to disappear when they don't know. It's easier to hide. You're less likely to get hurt if you stay guarded.
Unfortunately, you end up with many one way relationships. You give and give, with little or no return. That's okay, the giving is a gift and when its a gift you're not supposed to expect something in return. If that were the case, then it would be a service, and not a gift. At least that's how I see it.
At some point, though, it has to be seen and it has to be said and I have to give in. I just hope that I haven't missed out on it already because of my guardedness.
The two things that terrify me the most are 1) not being able to take care of the people I love, and 2) getting close to someone new. Now, those two things may seem to contradict each other in some ways. How do you care so much for someone new if you don't let them get close to you? I find that it's pretty easy. You care, you worry, you have those dreams about them, you may even have feelings, but you don't tell them. Not all of it, not all at once, or maybe not at all. It's easier to disappear when they don't know. It's easier to hide. You're less likely to get hurt if you stay guarded.
Unfortunately, you end up with many one way relationships. You give and give, with little or no return. That's okay, the giving is a gift and when its a gift you're not supposed to expect something in return. If that were the case, then it would be a service, and not a gift. At least that's how I see it.
At some point, though, it has to be seen and it has to be said and I have to give in. I just hope that I haven't missed out on it already because of my guardedness.
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